Heather Nicole

(album: RAW - 2010)

At night in my window I see a silhouette
Crying heavy tears look how wet my pillow gets
Throughout my days I don't smile I just get upset
And since you left look at all the shit that it affects
I take a picture of your face and I just hold it up
Kiss it, then reminisce on when it was both of us
It's hard for me to open up, I'm always talking to myself
But to nobody else
Some say that church or maybe counseling could probably help
But they don't know about all of my idiotic lies
All the fucking times I left you traumatized
Swore up and down to you saying I'm a try
And never did, I try not to cry but I feel bad I didn't apologize
It's time I cough it up and tell more, my soul is taken never sell yours
I did some shit I probably coulda been in jail for
Bury me deep inside hells core
And don't let me out until you hear bells roar

She said, you never loved me
You just controlled me
If you fuck around I'm calling the police
But all I wanted to say was I'm sorry
Oh how I wish that could tell you
You're gone, you're dead, you'll never know that I was sorry
Just leave me alone, stay out my head, I wish that I could tell you
You're gone, you're dead, you'll never know that I was sorry
Just leave me alone, stay out my head, I wish that I could tell you

It's hard to forget, my heart is a brick
I tell myself Marcus, I thought that you were smarter than this
The mess I put you through was worse than pearl harbor and shit
I'd always harm you and flip, mentally scar you and trip
Sometimes I'd argue and get, the nerve to call you a bitch
Then bruise your back against the dresser that I tossed you against
My Juliet at the time I never thought you was it
I do now but shit your gone, so I just offer you this
A song to you, through it I open the crack in my chest
And show the whole world I've always had a lack of respect
For women who went to my life, I look to vengeance as knife
Intentions to fight, if you thinking I was senseless you right
Now every sentence I write, I think twice on it so I don't regret
Cause only stress lies in a simple mind of loneliness
I'm an unholy mess, put me in a hole to rest
Welcome to my life this is how painful my stories get

She said, you never loved me
You just controlled me
If you fuck around I'm calling the police
But all I wanted to say was I'm sorry
Oh how I wish that could tell you
You're gone, you're dead, you'll never know that I was sorry
Just leave me alone, stay out my head, I wish that I could tell you
You're gone, you're dead, you'll never know that I was sorry
Just leave me alone, stay out my head, I wish that I could tell you

Now use this track as a lesson
All you guys out there who have some aggression
Towards your woman it don't have to get hectic
That crap is pathetic, now look at me I have to regret it
I can't go near her or nothing, she'll probably have me arrested
The only thing I could do is just make a track with a message
And hope she hears it so she could know I was badly infected
I never meant to be that type of guy
But I realized that I was, and because of it I'm throwing my sinister life aside
I can cry at any moment just thinking about it
Sometimes I hide it from the folks that I'm hanging around with
I should apply for a new soul cause I think it's invalid
Somebody told me when I die I'll be safe but I doubt it
The grudge she holds against me, it hurts me so severely
She won't come near me, I thought that time was supposed to cure me
I'm so alone and weary, writing songs to heal me
I swear that I'm sorry Heather, I mean it so sincerely

She said, you never loved me
You just controlled me
If you fuck around I'm calling the police
But all I wanted to say was I'm sorry
Oh how I wish that could tell you
You're gone, you're dead, you'll never know that I was sorry
Just leave me alone, stay out my head, I wish that I could tell you
You're gone, you're dead, you'll never know that I was sorry
Just leave me alone, stay out my head, I wish that I could tell you