The Appointment Interlude

(アルバム： BSB. Vol. 2 - 2013)

When I got the news I kinda already knew
Because of the morning sickness and the pain on my left side has shifted
I tried to ignore all the signs of fertility
Only focus on how was gonna face this humility
Something told me to pray but instead I called the clinic
I had to contact a medic so many thoughts in my head were spinning
With no respect for the life in me, I scheduled to have it killed
Then I thought to myself, damn I should've used that 72 hours pill
Knowing that this is labeled wrong I still felt I was doing what I have to
Justifying my decision making by
Ignoring that this is a real life I'm taking
I told myself "it's the first trimester there's no form yet it's not that bad"
It's too soon to even tell this dude he was about to be a dad
So I went to bed that night with all those thoughts on my mind
Tryin to hold on to whatever peace I can find
And I had a dream that night and the child began to speak
He said "there are certain things I have to say to you before you get rid of me
First of all I would've loved to play the piano and I wanted to teach
There are also other things I would've done to make you proud
You see, it's hurts me that you would just throw me away
I never even asked to be, well I did ask God to send me to a person who would take good care of me
But I never thought I'd reach that place and then be cut up and flushed
Instead of this boodoo therefor I've been sentenced that
Rather your warm love and touch
I was looking forward to live life to the fullest and enjoyin every single portion
So mommy please wherever you do don't go doing this abortion
I promise to be good I won't ask for toys and at bed time I go straight to sleep
Just promise me mommy in the morning you cancel that appointment to let them kill me"