You'll Understand When You're Older

(アルバム： Why Did You Do It? - 2018)

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For the kid
Who survived

Pack your bags, we're going on a guilt trip
First stop: 12th grade, always thought I could
Buy happiness, but I'm emotionally spent
And I can't afford to lose again

Another girl, another friend
Another reason to leave the party early when
I see you on the other side of the room
The worst four letters: LOV

-Enough's enough
I'm sick of having fun
I'm sick of everything I love
Going to someone else

And at the end of the night, I'll still walk you to your car
And take the long way home to avoid everyone
Text me when you get homesick
I've been thinking about that phone call
I've been driving past your exit
I know what we had wasn't perfect
But if it isn't fixed, don't break it, no

Broken window, playing ball in the backyard
Broken window when I got in a fight with you
Broken window just to get in my own house
The landlord locked me out
The rent's past due

Order up!
Burns on your hands from years of food service
Loser
What the fuck?
I worked 40 hours last week, this can't be right
Under the table life

Flipping burgers, washing dishes, pumping gas, delivering pizzas
Every weekend until the day I die
I watch the kids with degrees just step all over me
Now I'm arguing with some guys from New Jersey over extra cheese
And I still think about that phone call
And I still pass your exit
And every day I think
And I think about
And I think, ah!

So this is what I had to live for?
So this is what I had to live for?

Empty pockets, heartbreak, past mistakes, friends I hate
Every night and every day until I just evaporate, I
Love someone and it's just not working, I
Can't follow my dreams, I'm always working, I
Need to go back to school, I'm almost thirty, I
Don't know why I'm alive, swear I should have died that night

It's hard for me, it's hard for me to say that
I'm actually happy that I'm still here
I really try, but I'm really not okay and
There's no headline for the kid who survived
There's no headline for the kid who survived
There's no headline for the kid who survived