Birth

(专辑： Homosexual - 2022)

There's a feeling inside me
Under layers of dirt
Jekyll and Hyding from me
In a bloodstained shirt
Buried 6 feet in my gut
Scratching at my skin to break out

There's a creature inside me
All sticky and black
Squirms like an octopus
With the teeth of a rat
All it wants to do is be heard
But what if I don't wanna give birth?

There's a creature inside me
Wanna squish down the drain
Synthetic hair clumps
And polyurethane
All it wants to do is have worth
But what if I don't wanna give birth?

You're too late!
I guess you're having a baby!

It's in me but not from me
It when rules me so tread carefully
It's in me but not from me
It's sleeping
So don't make it angry!

There's a feeling inside me
All rotten and green
Feels like a pregnancy
That doesn't wanna be seen
All those years of scar tissue
Am I the scar am I the wound?

There's a bullet inside me
But it didn't explode
I'm getting tired of waiting
For another episode
All I wanna do is go bang
If only I could find an exit wound

There's a feeling inside me
Under layers of skin
Pushing like like an embryo
Made of guilt and sin
Negotiating when to be born
What will it want in return?

You're too late!
I guess you're having a baby

Oh my love oh my love I am so afraid
Every day I am terrified to wake up and open my eyes
And I know it's a phantom fear
And the bad guy's not really here
Every day I've been building walls to protect a fragile part of me
I've been hiding it all my life
Keeping it safe from things out there
But it's been draining me and all the world can see

There's a sadness behind my eyes
There's a sadness behind my eyes
There's a sadness behind my eyes
There's a sadness behind my eyes

It's in me but not from me
It rules me so tread carefully
It's in me but not from me
It's sleeping so don't make it angry

I guess you're having a baby!

There's a feeling inside me
It didn't get there alone
PTSD or a loose chromosome
I don't care which came first
Something's about to burst
It's been here so long now
It began as a laugh
If I'm not careful be my epitaph
I don't wanna live this way
Maybe when it sleeps I can escape

There's a feeling inside me under layers of hurt
Can't tell if it's friend or foe or pain inverted
But I don't wanna have to give birth
What if I don't wanna give birth?
What if I don't wanna give birth?

What if I don't wanna give birth?
What if I don't wanna give life to this?
What if I don't wanna confront?
What if I don't wanna examine this?
Something deep inside
Something I have tired to hide so long
Even from myself
Something inside that scares
Something inside but not from me at all
Something inside since I was three years old
Something inside that feels so big and tall
Something inside so harmless right up close
Something inside I dreamed up long ago
Maybe this something it has a name
Maybe this something it has a name
Maybe this something is only shame
Maybe this something is only shame
Maybe this something is only shame
What if I let go?
What if I let go?
What if I let go?

Let's try being in love
Being in love
Let's try being in love
Being in love

Flew away from it all
Turned around and the scene had ended
Flew away from it all
Won't be left out in the cold again
Let's try being in love
Flew away from it all
Being in love
Being in love
Being in love
Flesruoy evoL
Flesruoy evoL