a big black hole i call home

So hard to wake up, so hard to give in
To those days I wake up, and I feel like shit
So hard to go out, so hard to make sense of it
When I see you out around in silence
So hard to be free, what's that supposed to mean?
In my mind, I'm trapped, and I don't think I see
So hard to be me, so hard to tell them how I feel
'Cause everything around me's different, and nothing even feels real
If I could change, if I could be different
I would take the fucking pill and then sip it
If I could be something great, if I could be without pain
If I could even look around and see a familiar face
Oh, I would feel better, but nothing really gets better
It's kind of like a storm that's always the same weather
But it happens for a reason, and I know that I believe it
It only gets worse so it gets better in the end
But everyone's leaving, and I feel lonely
I can wave or say goodbye, but that's the old me
And now I feel so cold, don't want to hold on to hope
Even the ones that love me, I don't even want them close

I'm in a big black hole
I'm in a big black hole
I'm in a big black hole
I'm in a big black
I'm in a big black hole
I'm in a big black hole
I'm in a big black hole
And that's what I call home
I'm in a big black hole
I'm in a big black hole
I'm in a big black hole
And it's a big black hole
I'm in a big black hole
And it's a big black hole
I'm in a big black hole
I wish it all was cold